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In a nutshell: A couple together for 23 years. Husband joins swingers website, hooks up with 3 different girls and sleeps with them. Wife has no idea. Finds out. Husband is devastated, apologies and they work hard to sort it out. Wife is completely heartbroken. Very Difficult time. 8 weeks later; husband says his misses friends he made on there and would like to rekindle friendships, including one of the females he slept with and had sexy text interchange with. He swears it’s nothing to do with sex as he truly loves his wife. What should his wife do?

I met the perfect girl about two years ago who ended up being my first love and first serious relationship. She became my girlfriend, my best friend, my EVERYTHING! Then almost a year into the relationship I was going through some stuff that made me very stressed out and less available to spend quality time, which put a huge strain on our relationship. My girlfriend began to go out with her friends all of the time and I never thought anything of it because I trusted her and was busy myself so I wanted her to have fun. One day later on down the line I see a picture that she was tagged in on Facebook with this guy behind her dancing with her. We had a rule that we wouldn't dance with anyone else and when I questioned her she said they took the picture right when he got behind her to dance with her... Being the (dumb) trusting boyfriend, I accepted what she said without question and just asked her to remove the picture. Then a couple of weeks later, she had a falling out with her roommate who supposedly posted that my girlfriend cheated on me on Facebook and my girlfriend told me about it and how it wasn't true and being once again the (stupid) trusting boyfriend, I was receptive to what she said without question. Cheating was something that i didn't think she would ever do because I knew that she loved me dearly. I began to feel myself becoming more and more unhappy primarily due to the great amount of strain that was put on our relationship because of what I was going through. My girlfriend was somewhat supportive but complained and didn't like it at all one bit. I thought about things for weeks and decided to break up with her because I needed time and didn't wanna do anything bad to her like cheat or anything. She was heartbroken and begged for me back but I refused. Months later I tried getting back with her and she was not making it easy for me at all. There was another guy who she was seeing but she still loved me and it showed and I knew I just needed to be patient so I was. She then decides to get some type of birth control that required her to have an STD test and come to find out she has syphilis and I was likely to have to it as well because we had sex on several occasions. Being focused on wanting to get her back I completely brushed that off when she told me and she felt like she couldn't make me wait for any longer because I was the best thing that's happened to her and she dropped everyone and got back with me. Weeks following I found out that she lied about a guy she said she didn't have sex with and that she cheated on me back when I was going through that stuff and her roommate had posted it on Facebook and told me it wasn't true when it really was. I was completely crushed! I couldn't do anything but want to work things out because I had just gotten her back and wasn't ready for things to end. She made a 360 degree change  for the better and has shown me that she was sorry and loves me and would never do anything like that again. It has been seven months and still to this day, I can't seem to forget about it and I feel like its preventing me from moving on with her. Things will be good for a couple of weeks and then something will happen or I'll see something that reminds me of what she did and it just brings me back to the situation and how much it hurt me. Still to this day there has been a lingering unhappiness that I just can't get over because of what she has done and I do not know what to do with myself! I wish I could just get over it so I can move on with this girl and my life! She has done everything she possibly can to show she is sorry and to make things better. Although I do want to move on with this girl I'm not most concerned with that. What I'm mainly concerned with is what the best thing for me to do for MYSELF is. Advice would be greatly appreciated.. I have been having way too many sleepless nights..Thanks! By the way... my girlfriend and I are both in college. I'm 20, going on 21, and she's 19, going on 20.

My wife recently drifted into an emotional semi-sexual relationship after 15 years of marriage. Out sex life has been nonexistent and even when it happens it wasn't all that fun. We grew complacent (mostly my fault) and she has started spending more time with girlfriends. There is one woman (who is married) that she has grown very close with and a couple weeks ago my wife told me that her friend would send joking/playful texts to her. Nothing earth shattering about that until she revealed that she liked it and that it was turning her in. She has never indicated any fantasy about a woman so that was shocking to me. She asked me how I felt about it and I admitted that it turned me on. She asked me if she could respond to these joking/sexy messaging and I said ok as long as I am in it with her and it can be used to enhance our sex life (which it has immensely). The texting has continued and ramped up in terms of its sexual graphic nature. My wife says that it’s only fantasy and that she could never see herself doing it, but I am concerned she’s not being honest about what she might do if the right situation/circumstances present themselves. The biggest issue (if that wasn’t it) is that the other woman is married and she is not sharing any of the exchanges with her husband which makes me uncomfortable. I tried suggesting that we work together to try and find another woman who is not a close friend (or married) to bring in to our relationship and she hesitated saying that she wasn’t so much attracted to women but this particular woman. Is that a red flag? Struggling to try and figure this out...

I have been aware for many years that my wife was having affairs. What I was not aware of is that this has been going on for all 36 years of our marriage. I have confronted her on several occasions and never have received a straight answer. Several months ago, she decided to tell me everything. Way more than I wanted to hear. She informed me that she started the affairs a few weeks after we got married, and has continued until several months ago. I asked her why, and she told me I could not give her what she really wanted. She said I have a small penis. When asked why she didn't tell me when she decided to have her first affair, she said she enjoyed the thrill of sneaking around. Needless to say, I have been devastated over this. She tells me she still loves me, and doesn't want to end our marriage. What do I do? How do I proceed? I'm at a total loss, can't sleep, barely eat, and I dropped from 247 lbs to 145 lbs. It eats on me constantly, and has left me unable to focus on the things in my life that are important.

[finders keepers] • [moonlight top],

About 14 years ago I had a very bad relationship with my wife and went to the pub every night and stayed out late and neglected her. She neglected me in the past and went out lots without me. We argued and she removed her wedding ring and would not let me into the bed for many months and had her Friday nights out with the girls and the very odd weekend away with the girls. I accused my wife but she said it was nothing and that she didn’t do anything. The worrying thing is that she also said that she thought of me as a brother, perhaps this was her way of saying that we had grown apart and was an excuse for her cheating but she insists that she didn’t do anything.